But I think yoga is going to be useful to me in this learning-how-to-not-be-unhappy-all-the-time-regardless-of-actual-circumstances thing. I've been doing yoga off and on for, oh, good grief, could it really be 5 years already? I've gone months in that period doing it a few times a week and other long periods not doing it at all. I've always known I could take my practice deeper and make it into something transformative. On the mat I focus, I fail, I learn to forgive myself my limitations, I laugh at myself, I give up, I keep on, I occasionally give in to tears of frustration or a silly smirk of triumph, and I build the ability to do things that were impossible when I began. This is all totally awesome, but it's confined to the times that I do yoga. All of these are things that I need to learn to do in my life off the mat. Both on and off the mat, I am aware of a need to cultivate detachment from the outcomes.
The anxiety robs me often of the ability to enjoy (even, perhaps, notice) the moment I'm in. Focusing is not something I'm great at, but I think I'll feel better if I can learn to just be instead of fretting about (possibly entirely imaginary anyway) problems.
So, the project, clearly stated: Do yoga. Spend the yoga-time focused on the moment. Apply the mat learning to the rest of life.
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