Piratical apple butter

- Take about 8 of the 14lbs of bruised apples that have been sold to you for $6 at the farmers' market. Cut out soft spots, core, and roughly chop the apples.
- Cook w/ some added water (depending on variety, the Arkansas Blacks needed a lot) until mushy.
- Puree w/ trusty immersion blender.
- Use a vegetable peeler to get most of the skin off two lemons. Coarsely chop.*
- Juice the lemons.
- Add zest, juice, 1/2 c sugar, ~ 3/4 c cane syrup, and 2 cinnamon sticks to puree; cook down to desired spreadability. Add ~ 1/2 c bourbon. Taste. Adjust flavourings if necessary. Let cook another couple minutes. Fish out cinnamon sticks.
- Put into clean jars (my batch made a total of 6 pints.)
- Process 20 min in a boiling water canner.

PLEASE read up on canning safety before following this recipe and follow all standard cleanliness protocols. I feel comfortable eating and serving this recipe but I am not an expert and I make no guarantees as to its safety.

(Notes: Leaving the skin on was something of a gamble [most recipes call for peeling the apples before the initial cooking, or putting the soft apples through a food mill] but I couldn't think of any food safety [i.e. raising the pH] reason not to and I like the taste of apple skins, and also I am super lazy, so I left them on. Also, there was a spare half cup or so and I ate it on plain yogurt this morning and I hope I am not being guilty of excessive pride when I say this is kind of fantastic: You taste apple, then bourbon, then cane syrup, then lemon/apple.)

* So, I am still a passionate advocate of zesting w/ a microplane, but sometimes you just need a more assertive consistency - fine little shreds of zest would just disappear in something this thick and w/ so many other competing flavours.